I am struggling

as salam alikum readers

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I have been struggling with my moods , it is hard and it effects everyone around me .  Being ill with bipolar that doesn’t respond to medication is very hard , it is like being thrown on a roller coaster without being ask before hand.

It has been causing issues in all areas of my life and right now I just feel blah if that’s even a feeling. The last few days have been very hard lots of tears and yelling for this I apologize . I have written a lot of poems and random stuff but I just don’t really feel like sharing it right now.

I try to keep myself busy with chores , washing dishes, washing clothes , folding clothes. Organizing cupboards, sorting shoes , trying to write is just hard my thoughts seem all jumbled up and confused like word salad .

I haven’t really been sleeping , I have had sleep issues for a long time , I have to force myself to get up and do things because sitting around just makes me feel worse.

I started a simple routine Farj prayer breakfast migraine medication wash dishes and do other chores chase children, Dhurh prayer eat lunch wash dishes rest till Ars prayer then try and read  that doesn’t usually get anywhere as I read the same line over and over. Make tea hang out and play with children help them with homework. Marghib prayer then I try and write in my journal sometimes all I write is I don’t feel like writing , we have dinner then I pray Isha prayer then try and call my husband we chat on skype , then  everyone gets ready for bed , I try and sleep watch a bit of tv then toss and turn then repeat the next day.ho

 

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5 thoughts on “I am struggling

  1. anchorkeidi says:

    Assalaam alaikum, Sis. Hang in there and share your feelings with a friend. In sha Allah, with the right attitude, this will pass and you’ll return to your normal self. Try to add reading or listening to the Qur’an to your schedule

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