Allergy Testing

As Salam Alikum Readers

My post is going to be about how I have been feeling and to be quite honest I don’t feel that great.

Last Thursday I saw a neurologist because I was having daily headaches and I was unsure as to what kind the good news is that they are not migraines and the bad news is that they are classified as sinus headaches and due to my long weird history of weird reactions to medications the neurologist that it would be best to figure out exactly what was triggering my headaches so I contacted my primary doctor and she ordered a allergy blood test which means I had to stop all allergy medications so I haven’t taken any since Monday night and it’s not been fun since then I have been so itchy and sneezing my eyes hurt and feel scratchy and dry I have weird rashes popping up all over my body and I can’t stand to even smell any type of perfume or cologne it sends me into sneezing fits as do most of the plants that are blooming.

I can’t weed my garden as I planned and I’ve been basically hiding indoors to try and not feel so blah and sneeze all the time .

Will post a update when I know more.

No More

I cry a tear
I wake a new, so lost in light
following the rainbow over the hills
are hearts are never still
fly with me I shine so bright
smile and laugh with me showing all your love,
our hearts are free dancing in skies above water drops
down upon my face, tears frozen in despair
dancing with memories of old dreams
I scream another night within my soul
hidden from all eyes , is a silent shame I have carried for you
never realizing it’s your burden !
You threshed  upon me at such a young age telling me it was my shame well no more
I refuse to share your secrets its upon you to bear and answer for what you did ,
I have forgiven you but I haven’t forgotten !sad

Annoying mood

Everything seems to annoy me lately , not sure if it is just due to it being that time of month or what , Yesterday was especially trying because all I wanted to do was curl up into a tight ball and cry yes that is how I felt having cramps from hell it feels like I got drop kicked in the stomach by a horse , I did the natural remedies tried drinking the moon cycle tea and gentle stretching/ massaging my stomach area but nothing helped . It didn’t help that I craved good chocolate and there was none to be found anywhere.

Children were all fussy whiny and when mommy doesn’t feel good that is when they find the need and want to use mommy as a tree, or if there a boy they decide hey lets use mommy’s stomach to practice head banging , then the baby decides hey lets be super fussy and want mommy to hold me lets also nurse and use feet to try and launch off mommy stomach looks like a good point to apply feet while we’re at it  lets use the other nipple as a play thing and twist /pull pinch it and see what color mommy’s face turns and how loud she yells. Then my daughter decides lets see how loud I can scream after I have been told to be quite time to break out the mega deafening pitch that grates on everyone’s nerves,  and oh lets throw a fit because we want chocolate cake and if we scream it will just make it taste so much better well needless to say no one got cake and everyone got a tension head ache from said screaming ……..

Head aches are worse

I haven’t written in a while , the reason is I haven’t been feeling all that good .

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I get head aches and once one hits all I want to do is curl up and not move .
I have had head aches off and on for years but as of recent they seem to have gotten to be a daily occurrence , Yes you read right Daily !
They start out by creeping in the pain usually sits between the eyes and sometimes it spreads to wrap around my head and runs down my neck and shoulders.

I am not even sure what type of headaches I am getting and neither are the doctors some say tension, clusters , sinus migraine each doctor has a different option as to what kind it is and all I want is to have them not come . 
Pain medications well the ones that I can take don’t seem to help or even touch the pain .

Having daily pain and raising young children is no picnic some days the noise alone makes the pain go from manageable to wanting to remove my head as it feels like it will explode !

All I can do is manage to the best of my abilities and trust in Allah , I have seen doctors about the head aches but they can’t seem to find a cause or reason , Have had cat scans and MRI’s done tried different medications some didn’t do anything others had bad side effects or I was allergic to them , have tried massage , chiropractic and other alternative health care as well as Herbal remedies haven’t seemed to have much success.  So far none of these remedies  seem to help and to be honest it costs a lot .allah does not

 

Ramadan day 8

Made it through another ramadan fast and going to the masjed for isha prayers , there was a problem with the speakers on the women’s side so it was hard to hear and follow along .

Pretty sure my gum infection is getting worse I now have pain running down my neck and up from were said tooth use to be basically the whole left side hurts .

I didn’t eat much hurts to much to chew even on the other side, all I want to do is curl in a ball and cry , got the crying part out of the way earlier can’t seem to get the curl up in a ball part taken care of both my boys are basically running around the room and jumping off of everything.

Ramadan day 7

I fasted today and went to the masjed for isha prayer and the extra prayers they do after isha prayer.

The women were actually quite while the prayer was being said ( in usa they keep on yap yapping while the Imam is doing the prayers) It was a nice change to be able to hear not that I actually understood much .

It saddens me that I can barely speak and understand Arabic I do try and try feels like I am beating my head against a wall .

My gum has become infected been rinsing with salt water.

Ramadan day 6

I fasted today and did all my prayers I felt like crap so when I wasn’t praying I was laying in bed trying to sleep it off.

I feel feverish but don’t have a fever another thing is every little noise bugs me it sounds like fingernails on a calk board .

I don’t feel like I fit in here, I am the odd ball out , no one really understands me or how I feel .

Insha-Allah tomorrow will be better.

Ramadan day 4

I didn’t do well today I was in so much discomfort due to my broken tooth and my baby boy he’s fussy and teething spent all day keeping him calm and also dealing with princess and monkey ( my other two young children ).

I did do all my prayers and a few extra prayers after iftar went to the dentist and had a top left side tooth near the front yanked out it broke and even though I was numbed up it feels like someone stomped on the whole left side of my face . Once back at the house I feed baby boy took pain medications and am just waiting for the pain medications to kick in ,Insha-Allah I feel better tomorrow.

Ramadan Almost here , While in Morocco

as salam alikum

I haven’t written in a while been quite busy with life , life has been quite trying to be honest I have been struggling, I am trying to live and be happy in a foreign country , I have been here since January and it is still hard I barely speak the language to be honest my 4 1/2 year old and 3 1/2 year old speak and understand more Arabic than I do.

My struggles seem to get the best of me some days I suffer from bipolar depression which means my brain chemicals are all weird and off my brain seems to be for a lack of a better word broken , I feel sad and blah when I have no reason to , medications don’t seem to help some days are better than others but lately it seems the blah’s have taken over my life I struggle to feel anything but sad.

I have been dealing with teeth pain , have been to the dentist three times in three weeks and still the pain is here have tried to explain to my sister in law that the teeth need to be root canals or to be pulled , the dentist just seems happy to clean out teeth and repack with stuff then see me in a week to repeat , (this is when I miss American dentists at least in America I can talk to and make myself understood , I would have had my teeth fixed the 1st time in America if I was home ) Morocco is a bit backwards and way laid back everything is tomorrow , tomorrow and sometimes it just makes me want to scream .

I have been struggling with my Salat since the 9th of this month I have started keeping track of how many times I pray , Islam requires 5 times a day on the 9th, 10th 11th I made all 5 prayers from the 12th through the 20th I had my monthly period and when it is cycle time women do not make salat after my cycle I started keeping track again 21st through 27th I made all 5 prayers some days it seems easier than others .

 

Ramadan is almost here and to be honest I am nervous and anxious I want to succeed at fasting but I do not want to affect my milk supply so I will try not really sure how well or what to expect as I haven’t really ever fasted more than a few days here and there since I became muslim mainly due to my health , the last few  Ramadans I was either   pregnant , breastfeeding or pregnant and breastfeeding or just pregnant yes I have had three babies in a short time span 2009 baby 2010 pregnant 2011 baby 2013 baby 2014 breastfeeding said baby who will be 1 in middle of Ramadan .

I wonder how Ramadan will be celebrated in a muslim country , yes Morocco is a muslim country this should be exciting I am looking forward to it and am a bit nervous as well .

head ache update

Been a while since I have posted to be quite honest I have been very busy life seems to be moving at super sonic speed with taking care of bint and ibn as well as trying to keep the house clean and dealing with the unending head ache yesterday saw a physical therapist and she confirmed that it is indeed cause by the muscles in my neck and shoulders being  being so knotted up she gave me some stretches to do 3 times a day and also some strength  excises to make my should blades stronger and help relieve the pain in  my neck she said the pain will get worse before it gets better so I am following her advice and will keep you all updated