Last Breath

( Actually  this is an album of being told by a man who is dying)

From those around,

 I hear a cry, 

A mouthful sob,

A hopeless sigh. (That’s  after death)

I hear footsteps leaving slowly,( after burying)

And then I know my soul must fly.

I Chilly Wind begins to blow,

Within my soul,

From head to toe,(at the time of death)

And then, the last breath,

Escapes my lips,

It’s time to leave,

And I must go.

So it is true (But it’s too late)

They say each soul,

Has been given a date,

When it must leave

It’s bodies core and meet with eternal fate

Oh Mark my word that I do say

Who knows?

Tomorrow could be your day

At last it comes to heaven or hell (that is our final abode is heaven or hell and decide where you want to be, in this world itself)

Decide which now do not delay

Come on O Brother,

Let’s pray, 

Decide with now do not delay.

Oh! God, Oh!

God, I cannot see ,

My eyes are blind, am I still me?

Or has my soul been let astray,

And forced to pay a price list fee,

ALAS to dust we all return,

Some shall rejoice (that is the good people will be in heaven….)

While others burn (…. Well the bad ones will be burning in the hell)

If only I knew that before,

The line grew short

And came my turn

And now Beneath the sod (Earth)

They laid me ( with my record flawed)

They cry, not knowing, but I cried worse, 

( they are crying unknowingly but I am crying because I am going to face my God and they don’t know it)

For them they go home

And

I face my God,

Oh Mark the words that I do say,

Who knows? 

Tomorrow could be your day

At last it comes to heaven or hell

Decide which now do not delay,

Come on O Brother,

Let’s pray,

Decide now do not delay.

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Letter To Allah

Dear Allah,

You know me better than I know myself.

You are closer to me than any one else.

You know every breath I breathe and every sneeze I sneeze

You know my entire rizq and my life and my death

There is nothing hidden nothing secret from you

But ya Allah, I just want to enter those gates so everything can be worth it,

 Just need to get Home back to You.

Sometimes I just want to leave every single rope I’m connected to

I want to sometimes just leave and go far away in an empty place, barren, where I can just breathe

Where I can sit and stare at the stars,

Silence, away from every worry and task

Just to reflect on every blessings, on my journey, on You

But we weren’t made to have fun, we weren’t made to sit

If I searched for rest here, it would be fruitless

Rest and peace, and happiness and eternity belongs with You

So ya Allah,, we are all just toiling and it makes me think…

“Imam Ahmad was asked, 

“When is there rest?” 

He answered, 

“When you put your foot in Paradise you will find rest.”

Ya Allah,, just let me enter those

ALL I HAVE IS ALLAH, ALL I NEED IS ALLAH ●•٠•˙ الســـلام عــليــكــم و رحــمــة الله و بـــركـــاتـــه

•● ALL I HAVE IS ALLAH, ALL I NEED IS ALLAH ●•٠•˙
الســـلام عــليــكــم و رحــمــة الله و بـــركـــاتـــه

 

May Allah’s Peace, Mercy and Blessings upon you

Oh Allah, I have no money, but I have You. I am rich.
Oh Allah, I have no freedom, but I believe in You. I am free.

Oh Allah, I have no patience, but I read Your Quran. I am calm.

Oh Allah, I get no respect, but You listen to my Dua. I am proud.

Oh Allah, I have no time, but I think of Jannah. I have forever.

Oh Allah, I have much time, but I look at Your Signs. I have today.

Oh Allah, I feel so weak, but I fast Ramadan. I am strong.

Oh Allah, I feel so tired, but I make Dua. I open my eyes.

Oh Allah, I feel so dirty, but I repent to You. I am clean.

Oh Allah, I feel so depressed, but I remember You. I am in peace.

Oh Allah, I feel so lost, but I follow Your commands. I am safe.

Oh Allah, nobody listens, but you never turn from me. I am grateful.

Oh Allah, my heart breaks, but I imagine meeting You. My heart finds rest.

Oh Allah, I cry every night, but I make wudu. I wash away my tears.

Oh Allah, I feel so alone, but I pray to You. I have everything.

Oh Allah, I feel so depressed, but I think about Hajj. My heart beats again.

Oh Allah, I don’t want this life, and I will die for You, only to live forever.

╔══╗
╚╗╔╝
╔╝(¯`v´¯)
╚══`.¸.ＡＬＬＡＨ
All I have is Allah,
All I need is Allah.
Amen

On That Day

As salaam alikum

And on that Day when the mountains will move

And the earth will shake with a violent shaking

And no one will be concerned about their fathers or mothers their

children or spouse

And on that Day when the Trumpet will be blown twice

And mankind will appear drunk out of fear of his Lord

And on that Day when eyes will swell up with tears

When the book of deeds will be laid open

And you will see all that you have done in this life

of good and evil and it will be written in numbers

Because you worship a Lord that does not forget!

And on that Day when the whole of earth will die and then be

resurrected so that Judgement may began

And on that day when sweat will pour

out of fear from your Lord

And the heavens will be opened and you shall come unto your Lord in

crowds!

And on that Day the body parts will speak for you regarding your

deeds! You will not be able to speak as to defend yourself

Your legs, private parts, eyes, ears, mouth will all testify against

you!

Allahu Must’an!

And you will hope that those people you have wronged, will forgive you

And you will hope that your repentance will be accepted from your

Lord

And you will hope that your soul will be saved from the fire!

And on that Day your Lord will be just

And He will remind you of what your hands put forth in this life

And on that Day there will be no time,

So on that Great day, you will surely come to know…..

Dear Allah , Help me Understand and Have Patience

Dear Allah,

Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim

I am writing this to get all the jumbled words and stuff floating around down on paper so to speak , inshaallah it helps clear and quite my mind.

I am struggling and  I feel alone I try and I try to fight this depression it seems never ending like everything is all painted in shades of greys ,blacks and muted dull colors .

I can’t sleep well some nights I don’t even sleep I just lay awake and the tears slide down my face and I don’t even know why I am crying .

I have head aches daily and back pain along with hip pain and neck pain home remedies don’t seem to help and so far the doctors haven’t helped much either 

I know that I have no reason to be depressed it is like my brain is broken and stuck in the depressed mode and I am not sure how to snap out of it , nothing I have tried seems to work , I am either allergic to the medication or it has unwanted side effects or cause other problems so I don’t take the medication .

I pray 5 times a day and some days I even struggle just to pray , I know you already know this and you know everything even stuff I do not know about. I struggle to read the Quran please help me be able to read it more and to understand it , and not get lost and fall off the straight path.

Will I always feel this way?

Will I always feel like I am struggling to do my prayers? When will it feel easier and not like a chore ? I love Islam and prayers it is just so hard some days , my mind endless seems to wonder off or I get lost mid prayer or forget how many rakats I have done some days are just so frustrating when will it not feel this way? When will I feel like a good muslimah?

I feel like I am isolated and alone even when I am surrounded by family and friends why do I feel like this? Will I always feel like this ? I feel rootless like a tumbleweed blowing in the wind like I am in one place the get blown to another place where is my home?

When will I understand enough Arabic and be able to speak it clearly and not feel self conscious when talking to people?

When will the colors come back ?

Is my outlook to always feel and look depressed? Is there any hope for not being depressed?Can you show me the way out of the depression?

Will I always cry and not even know the reason why I am crying ? Is the crying a good thing? does it help me , I am trying to understand and be patience ,I am trying to be happy I am thankful for healthy children and healthy family who help out .

Will sleep always be a struggle?

Allah Most merciful one I promise that I will never give up I will fight to do prayers and learn more will keep trying to learn Arabic and keep trying to read and understand all of the Quran! I will never stop  fighting the depressed feelings I will not give up this is my promise to you , I am your humble muslimah