I am lonely very lonely here I feel like I am always left out of the conversation last to know,
Even when I am included in the conversation I feel like I am missing words ,
I try and learn but it is very hard.
I feel like my brain is wired differently to not retain languages I feel deficit in languages,
I now understand how people with autism feel being misunderstood and alone in the world and that sometimes one can hear the information but nor process or retain it and are then unable to respond to it.
I feel alone even when surrounded by people the noises get to me then I go hide in my room , noise sensory issues are not fun to deal with hiding might to some seem childish but when your system is overwhelmed you just can’t deal with it and will shut down.
My moods have been haywire and I can’t seem to get them under control nothing I have tried seems to help, it is very frustrating and lonely no one wants to be around me when I’m in one of my moods what they don’t understand is I don’t have control of my brain it runs away and haywire and then I feel bad guilty and upset about my moods it doesn’t help that there is language differences and cultural differences as well as cultural issues.
I am alone to suffer that’s all I do is suffer it feels pointless to try and fight something I have never had control over there is no hope the mood swings seem to be getting worse and more frequent as well as more frightening sometimes I wonder if it would be better to just leave and go away from everyone that I know so they don’t have to deal with my issues and mood swing