Update: Dealing With Unexpected Health Issues

As Salam Alikum Readers

I haven’t been posting much and it’s been due to unexpected health issues,

The last post I did was about having gestational diabetes which is a huge pain in the butt to manage I have had to cut out almost all breads , pastas , potatoes and other starches , count my carbohydrates which is a huge pain in the butt, give myself insulin injections four times a day and poke my fingers anywhere from 4/8 times a day depending on how I was feeling .

In January I went to Morocco and got sick with the Moroccan flu it had me down for all of January and half of February there really wasn’t any medications I could safely take but thankfully I had enough sense to bring a big bottle of powdered Gatorade mix which helped a lot .

Middle of February I developed cholostasis which is a liver issue that pregnant women can get it causes unbearable itching to the mother all over hands, feet , whole body doctors gave medications but they don’t seem to be helping and since I developed cholostasis I have had to go in twice a week for nst monitoring so they can check baby girl out, during the nst testing she likes to go to sleep so they have to put a loud buzzer thing on my belly to wake her up.

Doctors have found that baby girl isn’t gaining weigh like she should be she is small last time they did growth ultrasound they said she might be 4 pound 15 ounces but she could weigh less.

My heart issues have been acting up and making it hard for me to do much of anything I’m always exhausted and short of breath .

Because of all these issues the doctors have decided to do a caesarean on the 27th of April .

I will post another update when I can .

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Prayer to Allah

islamic-quotes-on-trials-2

Allah is the best of planners and providers.

Allah gives trials and tests to those he chooses.

Allah has tried far better people with far worse trials and they stood firm steadfast and far more patient then I.

 Allah sends mercy and ease in due time to those who remain patient. All that being said I have to tell myself this sometimes on a daily basis. I have had such a difficult time and have such a heavy heart right now.

SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) is so bitter sweet it has its ups and downs and moments of truth.

I pray that Allah helps and heals my daughter and son.

I pray that Allah protects them and keeps safe and upon the straight path. I pray that Allah blesses my children and keep them strong steadfast and patient.

I pray I can make it through my test. I pray I can handle it all with steadfastness and patience.. Ya Allah

patince

Depressed Ranting of a overly tired mind

Everyday is a struggle but some how I get through it. Alhamdulilah if it wasn’t for the Merciful that Allah bestowed upon me, my reading, my deen, I would be back in the darkness of my thoughts. Today I am a little bit depressed, maybe it’s hormonal, maybe it’s the awkward silence that my husband and I are experiencing , He talks to everyone but me. I am in the mind-fog of depression. The depressed mind doesn’t always recognize things as they are. Everything feels like it is a huge chore I am crabby and irritated, easily annoyed and short tempered in I will yell at the drop of a hat , why must I always deal with depression it is like being lost in a thick fog it makes everything distorted and it is hard to find your way out of the fog.

I have been beyond blue for a long time it is a daily struggle living with depression , my doctors say bipolar NOS but I rarely swing into mania mostly it is depression with periods that are hypo-manic so basically I get into moods were I plan stuff like sewing projects and start them yet never finish them or my favorite I clean things weird things I am sure no one else cares if are ever cleaned, another thing is I am having a lot of trouble sleeping it doesn’t help that in the neighborhood there are several dogs that bark at random  and never seem to shut up then there are the babies who wake and fuss then on top of that I have to pee like every five minutes and there is only one bathroom upstairs . I just feel defeated when fighting depression so far nothing has worked or even seemed to help it is like I am walking around wrapped in a thick gray fog that no one else can see but me .

Having depression is like having a invisible wound that just will not heal , to explain it so a non depressed mind will understand the closest I can come is to use a stubbed toe as a example you stub you toe it hurts and is bloody you take care of said toe and it is almost healed when again it gets hurts and the cycle just keeps repeating over and over that is how depression is there is always going to be a cycle of feeling blue and lower than dirt to depressed to even brush your teeth , hair or take care of yourself some people get stuck in that and never get out others learn how to mange somewhat normal looking lives while hiding how they truly feel . I do not know why some people are given depression , bipolar and other invisible illnesses to deal with , but  Allah never gives a person more than he or she can bear .allah does notdon't be sad

 

Dry Detergent for Clothes

Powdered Detergent

4 lb box Borax

3 lb box Washing Soda

4 lb box baking soda
3 lb container OxyClean (optional….but I have messy toddlers)

2 bars Fels Naptha soap (Dove is another soap I use

1.Grate bars of soap using a fine grater.  I use rubber gloves so that I don’t grate my fingers as well.I don’t grate my fingers as well.

2. In a large 5 gallon bucket, layer all ingredients and mix.  I put the lid on and rolled the bucket around and then used my rubber gloved hands to mix this all up.  It was a workout.

3. Use 2 Tbsp per load.  Sprinkle directly in drum on top of clothes.

*This works great in top loading, front loading, regular, and HE machines.

Inshaallah I will post a recipe for the liquid kind soon

Dua : a poem and a prayer

 
 
Please take a moment to relax your mind and humble
your heart to focus on
ALLAH (Almighty GOD). Allow Allah, to occupy your
mind while you read this
DUA.If we can
take the time to read long jokes, stories, etc.,we
should give the same
respect to this DUA (Prayer). Friends that pray
together, stay together.
Let’s pray…
 
OH ALLAH, I thank You for this day. I thank You for
my being able to see and
to hear this morning.I’m blessed because You are
forgiving and understanding
Oh Allah. You have done so much for me & You keep on
blessing me. Forgive me
this day for everything I have done, said or thought
that was not pleasing
to you. I ask YOU now for Your forgiveness. Please
keep me safe from all
danger and harm.
Help me to start this day with a new attitude and
plenty of gratitude. Let
me make the best of each and every day to clear my
mind so that I can hear
from You. Please broaden my mind that I can accept
all things. Let me not
whine and whimper over things I have no control
over.
 
Let me continue to see sin through YOUR eyes and
acknowledge it as evil. And
when I sin, let me repent,and receive YOUR
forgiveness. And when this world
closes in on me, let me remember YOU – to slip away
and find a quiet place
to make DUA. It’s the best response when I’m pushed
beyond my limits. I know
that when I can’t make DUA, You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to
bless me that I may be a
blessing to others.
 
Keep me strong that I may help the weak. Keep me
uplifted that I may have
words of encouragement for others.
I make DUA for those that are lost and can’t find
their way. I make DUA for
those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I make
DUA for those who don’t
know You intimately. I make DUA for those that will
delete this without
sharing it with others. I make DUA for those that
don’t believe. But I thank
you that I believe.
 
I believe that Allah changes people and Allah
changes things. I make DUA for
all my sisters and brothers. For each and every
family member in their
households. I make DUA for peace, love and joy in
their homes that they are
out of debt and all their needs are met.
 
I make DUA that every eye that reads this knows
there is no problem,
circumstance, or situation greater than Allah. Every
Battle is in your hands
for You to fight. I make DUA that these words be
received into the hearts of
every eye that sees them and every mouth that
confesses them willingly. This
is my DUA. Amen.



Dear Allah , Help me Understand and Have Patience

Dear Allah,

Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim

I am writing this to get all the jumbled words and stuff floating around down on paper so to speak , inshaallah it helps clear and quite my mind.don't be sad

I am struggling and  I feel alone I try and I try to fight this depression it seems never ending like everything is all painted in shades of greys ,blacks and muted dull colors .

I can’t sleep well some nights I don’t even sleep I just lay awake and the tears slide down my face and I don’t even know why I am crying .

I have head aches daily and back pain along with hip pain and neck pain home remedies don’t seem to help and so far the doctors haven’t helped much either 

I know that I have no reason to be depressed it is like my brain is broken and stuck in the depressed mode and I am not sure how to snap out of it , nothing I have tried seems to work , I am either allergic to the medication or it has unwanted side effects or cause other problems so I don’t take the medication .

I pray 5 times a day and some days I even struggle just to pray , I know you already know this and you know everything even stuff I do not know about. I struggle to read the Quran please help me be able to read it more and to understand it , and not get lost and fall off the straight path.

Will I always feel this way?

Will I always feel like I am struggling to do my prayers? When will it feel easier and not like a chore ? I love Islam and prayers it is just so hard some days , my mind endless seems to wonder off or I get lost mid prayer or forget how many rakats I have done some days are just so frustrating when will it not feel this way? When will I feel like a good muslimah?

I feel like I am isolated and alone even when I am surrounded by family and friends why do I feel like this? Will I always feel like this ? I feel rootless like a tumbleweed blowing in the wind like I am in one place the get blown to another place where is my home?

When will I understand enough Arabic and be able to speak it clearly and not feel self conscious when talking to people?

When will the colors come back ?

Is my outlook to always feel and look depressed? Is there any hope for not being depressed?Can you show me the way out of the depression?

Will I always cry and not even know the reason why I am crying ? Is the crying a good thing? does it help me , I am trying to understand and be patience ,I am trying to be happy I am thankful for healthy children and healthy family who help out .

Will sleep always be a struggle?

Allah Most merciful one I promise that I will never give up I will fight to do prayers and learn more will keep trying to learn Arabic and keep trying to read and understand all of the Quran! I will never stop  fighting the depressed feelings I will not give up this is my promise to you , I am your humble muslimahmuslimah praying

 

Seven Qualities that Allah Loves..

quran i

1. TAWBAH (Repentance)
“For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly (in repentance)” [Surah Al Baqarah 2:222] 2. TAHARAH (Purification)
“Allah loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.” [Surah Al Baqarah 2:222]

3. TAQWA (Piety)
“For Allah loves the righteous (the pious).” [Surah Al Tawbah 9:4]

4. IHSAN (Goodness & Perfection)
“For Allah loves the righteous (the pious).” [Surah Al Tawbah 9:4]

4. IHSAN (Goodness & Perfection)
“For Allah loves those who do good” [Surah Ali ‘Imran 3:134]

5 TAWAKKUL (Trust in Allah)
“For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).” [Surah Ali ‘Imran 3:159]

6. ADL (Justice)
“For Allah loves those who judge in equity.” [Surah Al Ma’idah 5:42]
“For Allah loves those who are fair (and just).” [Surah Al Hujurat 49:9]

7. SABR (Patience)
“And Allah Loves those who are firm and steadfast (As-Sabirin (the patient)).” [Surah Ali ‘Imran 3:146]

..Seven Qualities that Allah does not Love..

1. ISRAAF (Extravagance)
“But waste not by excess: for Allah loves not the wasters (Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance)).” [Surah Al An’am 6:141]

2. ISTIKBAAR (Pride)
“Verily He loves not the arrogant (proud).” [Surah Al Nahl 16:23]

3. MUKHTAL FAKHOOR (Arrogant boaster)
“For Allah loves not any arrogant boaster.” [Surah Luqman 31:18]

4. UDWAAN (Transgression)
“For Allah loves not transgressors.” [Surah Al Ma’idah 5:87]

5. ZULM (Evil, Wrongdoing)
“But Allah loves not those who do wrong (Zalimun (oppressors, polytheists and wrong doers)).” [Surah Ali ‘Imran 3:57]

6. KHIYAANAH (Treachery)
“For Allah loves not the treacherous.” [Surah Al Anfal 8:58]

7. MUFSIDEEN (Mischief-makers)
“And Allah loves not those who do mischief.” [Surah Al Ma’idah 5:64